Searsly Spuhghetti

By Eddie Spuhghetti


Besides being a soup made with beef stomach, Menudo was also a Latin boy-band that started in 1977 and spanned over three decades with a member list that resembles a few seasons of a sketch-comedy show.  Fundamentals of the group involved being under the age of 16 with no facial hair or noticeable girth in height; once you hit puberty in Menduo, your days in the group were finito.  Right from the get-go (I'll stop rhyming, I promise), the boys made a name for themselves in Latin America and broke young girl's hearts overseas across Spain and the surrounding areas.  The dawn of the mid-'80s marked Menudo's invasion into North America and paved the way for more work involving commercial jingles and touring.  Their 17th and second self-titled album would be one of their most successful and contain a track that managed to be the only tune of theirs to make it onto the Billboard Hot 100.  Featuring a tone that was more in the style of American teen-pop, Hold Me has all the things you'd want in a teenage love-tune from 1985 and of course, it had a pretty campy music video.

As the boys and their friends play tackle football in the street, in rolls a white luxury car up to a hotel across the road and out steps a babe with shoulder-pads.  At first ya think she's gonna join in on the game since she's got the gear on but it turns out she just wants to smile and tease the piss outta lead singer Robi.  Searsly; she walks away to go inside and then turns around again just to smile more at Robi gyrating his pelvis.  The group decide to go parading over to a nearby underpass where a b-ball game is going down: it's Menduo against Crop-Tops and Skins featuring an older fella with a safari hat on (wonder what he's on the hunt for).  With love on his mind, Robi sits the game out and sings to us about how he comes off as a bit looney to his friends when talking about the connection between himself and Hotel Babe.  After NBA Jam: Menudo Edition is over, everyone scatters back to the same street from earlier and as kids start to skateboard around, toss a ball about and argue over which member of Menduo is the cutest, our five young superstars take the opportunity to start dancing in unison in the middle of the road.  This impresses Hotel Babe so much that she comes running down from her balcony to stare Robi in the face as he continues his ballad of promises and cuddles.

Frankly, I don't blame her for rushing down there; if I saw five girls (or Menudo) doing a choreographed dance for me in the street, I'd be twirling my non-existent pony-tails.  In fact, I wouldn't mind learning the moves here myself because who the heck knows when they may come in handy?  You may notice during the video that one of the kids in Menudo looks like a young Ricky Martin; that's definitely him and he's considered the most well-known of the group's alumni.  Hold Me works quite well for it's intended audience: it's a song about young love and knowing when to act when you see a good thing smiling back at you.  While it does carry an overall taste of a cheezy "let me count the ways I love thee" song, there's oddly an underlining message here about self-confidence and not succumbing to peer pressure.  We've all been in a situation where we've had a massive crush on some guy or gal with that unexplainable sense of a mutual connection; yet, your friends dismiss it as just wishful thinking.  You just have to take a chance, say "what the piss" and try.  Just don't attempt to dance in the middle of the street unless it's a one way or you're in the 'burbs.




If you've not got onset diabetes from this slickly sick, sugary pop I'd suggest a high dose of direct intravenous Sunglasses Kid to give you those shakes you just can't stop.